The Confessions Of A Hawaii Five 0 Hurt And Comfort Writer
by Traw
Summary: I have to pause to catch my breath as images of Danny struggling to breathe and Steve's worried face as he waits outside the emergency room fill my head. A bit of tongue in cheek and Mary Sue fun. If you want to see the guys from the other side of a H/C writer's laptop, please keep reading...


My eyes dart frantically around the room as I search for an escape route but there are none. The door and windows have been locked and bolted. I shiver in fear and pull my laptop tighter, hugging it to my chest as I glance around at my other companions. They look as frightened and nervous as I feel as we raise our right hand and repeat the oath; I can feel myself choke on the words.

 _I am a nice writer,_

 _Not a mindless hurting machine._

 _If I am to change this image,_

 _I must first change myself._

 _Danny is a man, not a victim!_

Hurriedly finding my seat, I hear the doctor thank us before asking who would like to speak first about our addictions. I bite my lip and stare ahead as I hear my companions shift nervously in their chairs and I can tell, without even looking, that they are looking at each other begging for someone else to begin. Slowly my hand rises, beyond my control and my mind screams 'No, you Fool!' as my lips speak the dreaded words, "I would like to speak first."

I cringe as the doctor smiles and nods and I hear the soft sighs of relief from the others in the room as I slowly rise, uncertain of what my traitorous mouth is about to say. I close my eyes and hug my laptop tighter, protectively drawing my most treasured possessions closer, my prized hurt and comfort stories as I begin. "I first become addicted to hurting Danny after reading some wonderful Hawaii Five 0 stories written by fan fiction net writers and watching that most memorable episode of Ua Hiki Mai Kapalena Pau." I have to pause, to catch my breath, as images of Danny struggling to breathe and Steve's worried face as he waits outside the emergency room fill my head.

"Go on..."

I growl in annoyance as the images are suddenly shattered into a million pieces as the doctor calls my name, and I quickly wipe the drool that has trickled down my chin with the back of my hand as I hold my laptop even tighter, ignoring the pain as it pressed into my chest as I continue. "That was the ... the start of my addiction." I admit tearfully, "I wanted to see and read more stories of Danny in pain. At first I tried the usual formulas... you know... I shot him... beat him and usually had him end up on a ventilator in the ICU while Doc had to tell the other guys that he had a chance if he lasted through the night. But it wasn't enough... the urge to hurt him got bigger... I needed to do more...I wanted to inflict pain...I needed to see more blood... to have Steve beg for Danny to forgive him, for not keeping him safe."

"Easy, easy. Remember to breath." The doctor says softly as she watches me closely, "In...out...in...and out."

But her words have no effect as I feel my excitement rise, "But it was never enough. So I have had him beaten and left to die in a rubbish bin, had him hit by a car while Steve watched on, unable to stop it from happening, I have had him in a car accident with Steve. But it was never enough..." My eyes dart around the room as I see the others grinning before I turn back to the psychiatrist and admit, "I need more, so much more, it's just never enough... So I have trapped him in a car while it was set on fire," My voice dropped guiltily as I shifted uneasily and softly confessed my most guilty sin, " I even have given him life threatening complications as a reward for donating half his liver to save Steve…"

I hear her gasp before she murmurs those words I dread. "You have a serious addiction but I think we can help you recover from it here, with our help and guidance."

"Oh God. NO... not that." It's too much and I can't stop myself dropping to the floor and curling up in a tight protective ball around those stories as I start to sob and scream my objections. "I DON'T WANT TO LOSE MY ADDICTION. I LOVE ALL THAT BLOOD AND ANGST! I LOVE IT WHEN DANNY SHAKES IN HIS BOOTS AND TRIES TO HIDE WHEN EVER I SIT DOWN WITH THE LAPTOP. PLEASE ... PLEASE ANYTHING BUT THAT!"

"Easy, easy. Remember that's what you are here for. To cure you of this addiction, so you can enjoy life." The petite psychiatrist tells me gently as she comes over and wipes away my tears. "I promise you that once we are done, that you will feel better." She reassures me as she helps me to my feet and back to my chair. She waits until I am settled before she straightens up and looks at the others and asks, "Okay, who is next?"


End file.
